faith

I step over the threshold and am immediately engulfed by the absence of my grandfather's waiting arms open wide. I walk past the kitchen which so often nourished me, and into the living room where I have listened to thousands of tall tales and stories of the good old days. I overlook the dust and gaze back into the holidays and the ordinary days spent here.

This is the place where my daddy was raised. Where the yard was home to a giant grapevine and an old tire swing. Where the dog was always named Bullet and the kitchen counter always held a jar of jelly beans. Where dessert meant yellow cake with chocolate icing, and Granddaddy drank milk with every meal. This is the place I cannot imagine my life without.

I move through the house and silently say goodbye. It's unlikely I will return.  As much as I ache for the past, I cannot recreate it. All that's left are time-worn memories of people who loved me without fail. 

 ~~~~~

I am ecstatic. My cousin has gifted me with the best of all hand-me-downs: a pair of practically new roller stakes with dazzling white boots and baby blue pom-poms. I quickly discover that skating takes more than good equipment. I lack the skills to do any tricks. I never attempt skating backward; the prospect of moving in one direction while looking in another terrifies me.

~~~~~

 The Autumn morning is shrouded in fog. Even though I cannot see my surroundings, I have been here many times. I push forward with confidence. I know exactly where I am going. I know home is waiting for me.

~~~~~

 Biblical faith isn't blind.  

The pastor's words catch me off guard. I am on the edge of my seat to hear what he will say next. Doesn't he know that blind faith is Theology 101?

Biblical faith doesn't move forward blindfolded, but looks backward. Biblical faith looks at the past and realizes how faithful and trustworthy God is.

Scales fall away from my eyes, now opened to the truth of 2 Corinthians 5:7. We walk by faith, not by sight.  

I read the Word and understand that God created the world, the visible made out of the invisible. I discover that that he chose his people, calling them out of bondage and setting them free from their captivity. I realize he never left them, no matter how hard their hearts or how stiff their necks. I see that he healed them of all their diseases. I grasp the measure of his sacrifice.

I recall jobs lost, dreams that died, relationships that crumbled. I remember days when I have wept in weariness and days when I have wept in joy. I think about obstacles overcome and generosity given.  And I know.

By faith, I know that God loves his children without fail.

By faith, I know I can move forward while looking back.

By faith, I know that even when I can't see my heavenly home, it's there waiting for me.

I had heard of you by the hearing of the ear,
but now my eyes see you. 
~Job 42:5