As Christ Loves the Church...

-
One step on the path of intentional living, and I was confronted with soul-searching questions. I have not yet made it past the first set. How do I support, protect, and help my husband?

The conundrum burrows deeper into my spirit as I read Ephesians 5:22-24, and  these words from Claire Smith:
The husband is to promote his wife's godliness and sanctification, sparing no effort in advancing the work of Christ in her life. He is to help her prepare for the future marriage of Christ and the church. (God's Good Design, p.119)
The command to submit rings in my ears. Not because I don't want to submit to my husband, although there have been times when this has been the case. Not because it's unfair or antiquated, as the women's liberation movement decries. No, I keep mulling this command over and over in light of Genesis 2:18, and my role as my husband's helper.

Aimee gives me something to consider:
As a helper, we always need to remember that we represent our other half in all that we do and say. Likewise, our husbands always need to consider our interests in all that they say and do. This is a double-edged sword because our husbands should always want what is best for us. Sometimes we make it hard for them to be able to discern between what is truly good for us, and what gives us that momentary "happiness" that carries serious consequences in the end. We need to keep this in mind in our own temptations. (Housewife Theologian, p. 24)
Question begets question, and I jot them down to explore, to seal them in my memory.

Do I help my husband promote my godliness and sanctification? Not too long ago, we had a discussion about an uncomfortable situation. I admitted that I should feel and act differently, quickly appending my confession with a qualifying "but..." He stopped me: "There is no but. Leave it at that." His words stung.  I played the wounded wife for a bit, yet I knew he was right. I also knew he had my sanctification in mind. I'm learning that if I am to help my husband fulfill his responsibilities according to Ephesians 5:25-28, I must have an approachable and teachable spirit, a proper attitude that makes him feel safe in exercising his God-given authority in our home and in our marriage. I won't pretend it's easy, but I also can't pretend the command doesn't exist.

Do I help my husband make choices that are for my good, or do I demand temporary happiness?  This summer, he participated in a weekly morning Bible study that required him to get up earlier (therefore, going to bed earlier). Our already-short evening together was made even shorter, but in truth, I receive far more benefits from my husband's participation in Bible study than from an evening spent watching TV together. Likewise, it's not always convenient to schedule his haircuts, but having a husband who protects our marriage is much more important than my momentary happiness.

Do I help my husband live with me in an understanding way, honoring me as the weaker vessel?  1 Peter 3:7 requires this of him. My moods and attitudes should facilitate his compassion for me. My demeanor should be gentle and quiet (1 Peter 3:4), and create in him a desire to nourish and cherish me (Ephesians 5:29).  In short, I should be helping him to love me as Christ loves the Church.

I have not attained this. Nowhere close! As Smith writes, "This side of glory, godly submission will never come easily." (p. 145) That doesn't absolve me of the responsibilities to be obedient to God's command.

And so I keep plodding along, painstakingly slow but knowing the rewards of an intentional life will be bountiful indeed!

Comments

Kim Shay said…
Love this so much!
January 22, 2014 at 6:58 AM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Not Feeding the Frenzy

-
Increasingly, we are living our lives in the public forum. Hand-written letters to friends were exchanged for emails, which were exchanged for text messages, which have now been exchanged for tweets and notes on a Facebook wall for all the world to see. Secrets among friends, it seems, no longer exist. Meaningful friendships themselves may soon be a thing of the past. Social media has allowed us to collect "followers" and "friends" like trinkets on a charm bracelet.  We are compelled to share intimate details of our lives with complete strangers, yet we are ashamed to ask those closest to us to pray as we wrestle against sin. We foster, as Carl Trueman writes , an "intimacy of strangers which is such a part of celebrity culture - for example, the faux-chumminess of all those tweeted exchanges and retweets, lives lived as soap operas mediated by the internet..." We brand ourselves with carefully crafted personas, afraid the true person cowering behind t...
Read more

Meditations on Mid-Life

-
Two women stand behind us in line. I judge they are perhaps 10 years my senior, but it's hard to tell. I inwardly cringe as one bursts into a litany of complaints and coarse language. The other can hardly stop talking about who she's tweeting and snap chatting while we wait. One as salty as a sailor, the other as giddy as a schoolgirl. I see myself in these women. A complainer who makes those around her miserable. A foolish woman too mesmerized by social media to be a friend to someone standing right beside her. ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ Lisa's friend passes away. A woman I've never met, but will one day. Her example to Lisa became an example to me. While she is just beginning to understand what it means to worship God fully, her family and friends mourn a life ended too soon. I consider the woman I long to be. A woman who, in Lisa's words , "...believes the good news of the gospel to be true; she believes it, she needs it, she banks her life on it." ...
Read more

What I Learned During My Social Media Vacation

-
With the Holy Spirit's prompting - and the grace of God abounding - I gave up Facebook and Twitter during December so that I could focus on the Incarnation and prepare my heart for Christmas. I didn't think I devoted an inordinate amount of time to social media; however, when I announced my intention to my girl and her response was something akin to "Good. You need to given them up.", I knew I needed the break more than I cared to admit. I had already stopped posting anything in this little spot for the final months of 2013. Limited blogging at Out of the Ordinary, permanently paring down my feed reader to precious few, and saying no to Facebook and Twitter has taught me some valuable lessons. ~ Absence does not necessarily make the heart grow fonder. While there may have been a few who felt my absence, I imagine that I was, for the most part, forgotten. Not that I blame anyone; it's the nature of the social media beast. ~ Social media friends aren't alwa...
Read more