joy

You have put more joy in my heart
than they have when their grain and wine abound.
~Psalm 4:7


I close my day and the second full month since leaving my girl in a strange room. Her eyes danced in a mix of nerves and excitment. Mine were steely blue, unaware that tears would come a few days later.

They still come at the strangest times.

It's been two months in this new normal. It's been more difficult than I imagined, in ways different than I expected. I'm realizing how much of my identity - even, maybe especially, in our home - has been tied to being a mother. The daily demands of motherhood no longer clamor for my attention, a truth that saddens more than it relieves.

Treading this foreign territory frequently requires more balance than I've been able to muster, though I am learning. Learning to find joy, because there is much joy to be found.

Phone calls and text messages from my girl.

Library books that whisk me away to England, France, and New York.

Ella Fitzgerald's voice filling the air as I prepare dinner.

Board games and laughter.

Autumn's long-awaited arrival.

All shall be well. All shall be well. And all manner of things shall be well. - Julian of Norwich

Comments

The Wittz said…
Thinking of you during this transition time. I am really paying attention to how you are able to surrender your daughter to the Lord and find way to embrace joy. I am soaking in the time I have with my daughters. I know one day I will be facing exactly what you are facing right now- so I am filing this away to bring out later. I love you Melissa!
Camille said…
How blessed we are to walk through this life with our Lord...what a precious thing it is that He is giving you joy in the midst of this difficult time. Big Hugs!! Camille xo

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